My story – short version

I was a pedestrian struck by a car (hit and run) on 9-4-2013. It was a nightmare. Might have been an “attempted manslaughter” thing. I’ll honestly never know – to be honest – but that’s alright. I survived! I’m still here! I type WAY better than I talk. And if I could walk as well as I type, I’d be doing a lot better. My bones and nerves were affected by the impact not only from the vehicle that hit me, but by my brain injuries and ongoing (worsening) ataxia issues. It also caused two kinds of amnesia.

I’ve always had ataxia (much like Parkinson’s disease) which is “triggered” and becomes active – it is giving me all sorts of issues. Trouble speaking. Trouble with grip and muscle control. Issues with balance and horrible vertigo, and nausea. Eventually I’ll be in a wheelchair – hopefully not for a lot of years! With the right supplements and phys-rehab – with long-term treatments – I can stave it off for a bit of time, but eventually it’ll just “be what it is.” — Unless of course neuroscientists can figure out how to treat and prevent that too! (fingers crossed)

I’m guest speaking about “TBI and Balance” to a group of college students in Kansas City next weekend. They’re about to graduate the physical training programs (who may be inclined to study for physical rehabilitation.) I’m hoping to enlighten them about possible clients and patients they’ll come across during their future careers. Maybe with being well-informed about brain injury *(which more people have in America than heart diseases)* they’ll be better for the TBI survivors and their outcomes as well.

I’m working on pamphlets, booklets, and specifically created journals to give to Dr’s, ER’s, and Clinics for brain injury and amnesia/memory loss survivors to utilize. The pamphlets will have information vital to their advocacy and what they should seek next. The booklets will be for patients to use at the beginning of their journey towards long-term treatment plans so they’ll get the best of what medical care has to offer. The journals will be for long-term symptomatology record keeping as well as personal growth charting. It’ll help health-care pros to keep better track of what their patients are going through – as well as for survivors to see and know what has changed and that they have a level of control over what’s going on with them.

Tara Migraine effect

Most of us survivors feel SO out of control and that we’re helpless to our injuries and side-effects. I want and NEED to change that. I want to make a better connection for us to the medical community pros that’re responsible for our healing processes. But we as “consumers” of medical care need to be able to give them the MOST information humanly possible for those pros to be able to do their jobs as best they can for our best outcomes. It’s going to change the process of how they deal with us, and how we deal with them.

Between migraines, memory issues, concentration lapses, and totally feeling beaten and unhinged, it’s hard to keep track not only of day to day things, but of details. These booklets and journals will be a HUGE tool in the arsenal of healing and well-being.

Thanks for reading!


7 thoughts on “My story – short version

    1. * I didn’t write the following description, but it is pretty perfect paraphrasing of what living with a traumatic brain injury *TBI* is like… and I think it would be best shared right here: *

      Someone once asked me what it was like having a TBI.
      After thinking for a minute to myself I replied,
      “Its like never feeling 100%” There is always something going on in your head that keep you from feeling your 100 %self. You either can’t process everything, or cant complete a thought. Your emotions are always running haywire or not at all. Every emotion you feel is 10 folded in intensity. Happiness, fatigue, sadness, anger, desires. Being mentally present in a conversation but not being able to focus hard enough to gather a response, nonetheless to find the right words to say. And when you do, they come out out of order.
      TBI is never feeling like you can connect or relate to anyone on a deep level. Feeling alone, rejected. Knowing that most of the people you meet aren’t going to have to patience or empathy to understand or accept you. Seeing the frustration that people that do have with you from time to time.
      TBI is knowing that you will never be 100%, and doing your best to accept that.
      On the outside you may appear to be competent and able. It is knowing that what they don’t see is that most days the best you can to is 60 %. It’s feeling pressured all the time to be 100% and incompetent and unable when you cant.
      This is a very vague description, but the vivid would not be understood by the reader.

      * The woman who wrote this is part of a private group for expressing our aggravations about our injury and TBI… and how it effects our lives. I thought it was eloquent and accurate, so I’m sharing it here. I will keep her identity private, as that’s what she’d prefer. *

      Thanks again Stephon! 🙂


  1. I never did go and speak… and I feel badly about how excited I was and how proud my friend Stephon would have been of me. I honestly don’t remember much about this or what I’d had planned to speak about. It makes me sad to know that other people aster involved in my losses of memory. It pisses me off that I have the inability to prevent others from getting caught up in my bull-shiz. Truly, it also scares me enough to make me not want any connections with people even though I depend on the help from others I’ve been getting. What a paradox of shiz! … 😦 … >:- /


  2. *people **are ever** involved…*
    Grrr. PC is down until mid December when my charger cord finally arrives. Ya, that happened too, and I’m upset about having gotten into a grove with learning some architecture techniques and starting a bunch of art projects that all depends on my laptop access. Since I cannot charge it I cannot use it. Grrrrrr! It’s like losing all of the wiring utensils and papery in the house when you’ve got writing needing done. :-\


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