I’ve found that I look at it this way – the old me was the old me… letting go of what I cannot control and holding tight to the fresh me that isn’t controlled by what the world made me into before my TBI is invigorating. Yes, it’s frustrating finding that new groove. It’s inconceivably intolerable at times.
The people around you who love you can only sympathize/empathize “so much” without actually going through it themselves to truly know what it feels like.
That’s true for most of us.
Buuuuut…. don’t allow the expectations of others (or from yourself) to fool you – you’re going to be the you that you are now – regardless of anyone else’s (or your own) fantasy of how quickly or to what extent is expected.
The best part about this is, you get a brand new second chance at inventing yourself, finding the things you enjoy and are good at, and figuring out where you want to take yourself (internally.) Yes, it is daunting and challenging to stay positive, but if you don’t (like many) you’ll become disconnected and start giving up on being truly happy/comfortable with yourself.
I almost made that very same mistake. I almost gave up and stopped trying. I chased some “older version” of me that (sadly) doesn’t exist in total, anymore. I pieced together the bits of me that my loved ones find recognizable, and the rest —- well, it will fall into focus. Being patient with your discoveries of self will help you not to suffer as much. Being kind to yourself and forgiving the fact that you’re different is even better. Without those things, you’re going to resent the differences, and keep chasing something that doesn’t exist anymore.
You’ll find your new normalcy again – and it will get easier.
(That’s my ten cents worth. I hope it rings true.)
Thanks for reading! 🙂