I’m not talking down about myself when I tell people that I’m definitely consistently inconsistent. Sure, it sounds like a demeaning thing to say about myself, but really I’m just being super honest. Not everyone likes to admit their flaws or to really look at themselves accurately/honestly, but I find comfort in recognizing and admitting my limitations as much as I like figuring out that I’m good at things. I don’t think it’s a bad thing, is what I’m really trying to say.
Recognition of my flaws and assets are just something that ensures I’m living a genuine life. It can be uncomfortable and sometimes downright depressing at times to realize I’m really, REALLY, bad at certain things, but I do enjoy knowing what my limitations are – and that I can be honest with other people about them so they don’t wind up getting disappointed by me. It’s good to let people know that I’m not always going to be able to keep my enthusiasm or inertia going because of my physical issues, and cognitive limits.
This way, they’ll know that even though I want to follow through on every single thing I set out upon, I’m not always going to be able to complete my personal goals. Nobody gets their feelings hurt, and nobody sees me as a failure (nor do I see myself as one) when they know (and I accept) my limitations. “Honesty is the best policy” isn’t just a random turn of phrase, it is true. I don’t go around proclaiming that I can do all the things I’d like to, because I’d be a liar. Others would mistrust me and see me as a flake if I claimed that. So, I tell them the truth, and accept my own truth, and nobody gets hurt.
I see people (with brain injuries, and without brain injuries) consistently trying to validate why they let someone (or themselves) down about something, when instead they could have been introspective and honest enough to admit they’re probably not going to follow through with their task(s) and they wouldn’t have promised to do so in the first place. It seems rather simple to me that honesty is better than lying about abilities you don’t actually have.
Part-time abilities (is what I call it) is when you can sometimes accomplish things that you cannot always do. Even then, honesty comes into play when others are involved on whatever “thing” it is you’re doing. If you say you’re going to, let’s say, paint a picture for someone – if you can sometimes accomplish that in a day, but not always, DON’T tell the person you’re painting it for that you’ll finish in a day. You don’t know for sure that you can, so don’t give them that kind of false-expectation. It seems like a small thing, but once those expectations add up and aren’t accomplished time and again, they’ll stop trusting what you’ve said, and expect you to fail. Instead, tell them it’ll take you two weeks, and if/when you finish it ahead of time, they’ll be pleasantly surprised. 🙂
That’s how I approach my tasks. I always allow myself the time necessary for my limitations, and then some. That way, when I accomplish something ahead of the time-frame, I feel really awesome about myself, and nobody is left wondering why I haven’t done what I said. I try to be a ‘woman of my word’ and to not make a liar out of myself.
I truly think if more people were self-aware and honest enough, their lives would be easier, less stressful, and the people around them (or themselves) wouldn’t be disappointed as often as I see it happening. I struggled with this reality for too long – when all I really had to do was be true to myself, and be honest to those around me.
Thanks for reading. — Until next entry — 😀